You have asked me to kill, but I will not.
When you have loved, you can’t turn away.
I am your daughter but you have forgotten.
You want me gone, and away – I will stay.
In seven months I will receive a joy -
a wonderful, beautiful baby boy.
To create happiness you have known,
yet, you refuse to have a part in this.
When you sadly ignore that I have grown,
it is your love I will truly miss.
A year ago, I wrote that poem to my father. He wanted nothing to do with me once he heard I was pregnant. Abortion was the only word he could say. Yet, a year later, here we are. My son, James, was born in September and is already six months old. My father is actively involved in both of our lives and loves his grandson immensely. My other relatives, that begged and pleaded for me to give up my son, adore him. James is blessed with a big family and tons of love.
I continue to go to high school and I am on the honor roll. My baby’s father and I are no longer together but he is still involved. By no means is my life perfect, but I know keeping my son was, without a doubt, the right decision. Everyone who said I couldn’t be a good mother took back their words. I hear constantly from my family what a wonderful mother I am—but I don’t need their reassurance. I see it every day in my son’s face.
Being pregnant is scary and there is so much to think about. Every day, your body goes through changes. Your tiny child grows. Once you receive a plus on that stick, your life won’t be the same. From that moment on, you are a mother. Whichever decision you make will remain with you until your last breath. Take it from me, you will have to live with your decision—no one else can.
So make your decision in the interest of yourself and your child. His heart is beating. But stay strong through those times. I am living proof. It does get better. Life with my son is a joy each and every day—he is the love of my life. I have no idea what I would do without him. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but the joy a child brings you is worth the struggle.